Through the entire process of preparing for and going to Mexico, God provided a clearer picture of who He is and who I am - simply put, that He is God and I am not. As basic as that truth may be, my own pride led me to foolishly think that I had some sort of control over things and I struggled to truly grasp and respond in ways that reflected that truth. From the beginning, our team was challenged to step forward in faith as we were uncertain of what exactly we would be doing in Mexico. We prepared in faith, hoping that it could be used during our time there but also aware that we might not do any of it. In my sin, I struggled with wanting to control the situation. I thought that things needed to progress and occur in ways that I knew and understood. I was unwilling to be lead unless I was certain of the direction we were going. In my stubbornness and hard-heartedness, it was a challenge to trust and submit to how God would work, often times tempted to grumble in my lack of faith.
But God, in his loving mercy and grace revealed to me my sinfulness and reminded me of his sovereignty over all things. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways….for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). In reminding me of who He is, He showed me how I was trying to keep a boxed-up version of Him, putting limits to what I thought He could and couldn’t do. Being reminded of this, my attitude throughout the trip was one of cautious observation. And despite my hesitancy, God continued to reveal His sovereignty. When Kyle first moved to Mexico, he made a promise to several families that he would one day help provide a new home for them. With the money that we fundraised, Kyle would be able to purchase the land and build a house for one of the families, something he had been praying over for a while. God was the one moving the pieces and making it work, in His perfect timing and wisdom. What a privilege and blessing it was for our team to be able to witness and partake in God blessing and loving his people.
The rest of the week was spent following Kyle in his various ministries and helping in the little ways we could. During this time, I felt the Holy Spirit asking me, “In first seeking His kingdom, where is your heart in all of it?” Is it actually more about me wanting to control how I choose to serve Him or am I completely surrendered to Him and willing to go however God leads? On one of our last days in Mexico, we spent the entire day in the city of Muna, where Kyle had spent the last six years building relationships with the people. We walked door to door, delivering backpacks with school supplies and getting the students measured for their uniforms. It was amazing and encouraging to see the types of relationships that Kyle had within the community. He shared that it had taken time and patience to gain their trust. When he initially reached out to the city, they had rejected him. Now he was a well-known presence within the community, someone who the students asked year after year to speak at their graduations and someone to whom the city had voted to donate a city building for his ministry. It was still a work in progress but it was evident how God had been steadfastly working throughout the years and how the Holy Spirit was moving through this entire city to soften the people’s hearts.
It was exciting to think of the ways that God could and will work for His glory, to even think about the potential for an entire city to turn to Him. It was evidence of how God works through the everyday things, like the weekly trips Kyle made or the small conversations and hugs he exchanged, that God worked to slowly develop relationships and bring fruits of his labor to further the gospel. At times, God can work through large, grandiose displays of his awesome power, but sometimes it’s through the small, everyday things (like painting a bathroom, sharing a meal together or enjoying a pool party) that the gospel slowly yet powerfully works in the hearts of his people. Hence, the call to be missional is not just a one-week trip to an impoverished country but really living it out in your daily life, in the ministries that you are involved with and the people you are interacting with.